Buy George Washington's Lemons! Really!

No joke! For the price of a single month's rent in New York City, you can own "A Lemon Picked From A Tree Planted By George Washington and Picked By His Old Gardener" from Cowan Auctions. To say that the item description is comical is a bit of an understatement (stay tuned while I highlight a mega-contradiction):

“Washington was an avid farmer and gardener who planted a variety of flowers and trees at his Mount Vernon estate, among them a lemon tree. During the early 19th century, visitors were often known to take souvenirs from Mount Vernon, including lemons. According to some descriptions written by 19th century visitors, an old gardener would recount his experiences working with Washington and would sell them items from the garden for a small fee. It is possible that the gardener who picked this lemon was an enslaved African American named Phil Smith who was never owned by Washington himself, but belonged to a later generation of Washingtons living at Mount Vernon.”

I just love the fact that lemon theft was so prominent at Mt. Vernon that some enterprising gardener decided that it would make a lucrative side business for himself.

That enterprising gardener, by the way, was "possibly" an enslaved African American named Phil. I suppose it's equally possible that a Redcoat decided to enact mischief of the most pointless kind, stealing lemons from the ruler of our budding nation.

The mega-contradiction: Note carefully that the title of the item specifically states that the lemon was "picked by his old gardener." Then not how "the gardener who picked this lemon...belonged to a later generation of Washingtons living at Mount Vernon."

Basically, if you buy this lemon, I'll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge.